Brew Up
by FenriBane
Summary: When Naruto and his friend Sasuke and his older brother Itachi are evacuated away to live with their estranged family in the Whirlpool country they have no idea of what to expect... The Lockwell family have no idea themselves at how these three boys are going to effect them ether...
1. Brew Up, What's the Plot?

Brew up...

(Disclaimer -I do not own Naruto...)

When Naruto and his friend Sasuke and his older brother Itachi are evacuated away to live with their estranged family in the Whirlpool country they have no idea of what to expect... The Lockwell family have no idea themselves at how these three boys are going to effect them ether...

The Plot (What little there is...) 

Naruto and his best friend Sasuke along with Sasuke's older brother are evacuated out of Konoha because of a war between the Fire county and the Sound Village...The setting is in the real world at a time period when the mere idea of ninjas is a fairy tale and the internet is not even a theory (Think early 20th century, electric is here but tv and cars are for the posh and rich). The three youngster are sent away to live with their estranged family to the west, the Lockwell's.

Our New Stars (The Lockwell's...If you need to know who Naruto , Sasuke and Itachi are why the hell are you reading this and not the manga ?!) 

Name - Gabriel 'Gabe' Lockwell

Age - 48

The gruff often heavy handed patriarch of the family. A tall rather podgy man who has short red hair and green eyes that his wife often says glow when he gets mad. The older half-brother of Kushina Uzumaki the two have not spoken in nearly twenty years due to her moving away to marry Naruto's father Minato. Gabe is a hard-working watchman and ex policeman who is often always working odd hours, he hates school holidays and teachers due to them taking any reason to have a school holiday and ruining his beauty sleep.

Name – Emika 'Emma' Lockwell

Age – 49

The kind slightly dim witted wife of Gabe, the mother of the family. A slightly short yet slender women who has oxen eyes and long straight black hair. The older sister of Fugaku Uchiha the two have not spoken in over twenty years due to her refusing to an arranged marriage and running away to marry Gabe instead. She still keeps in contact with Kushina and her brothers wife Mikoto through monthly letters, she has a bad habit of messing up common sayings...

Name – Leonard 'Leo' Lockwell

Age – 7 going on 8 (the same a Naruto and Sasuke)

The young mischievous son of the family, the second biggest mistake of Gabe's life or so he says. A small boy for his age Leo has his fathers green eyes and red hair, although his mother insists he's got her looks. Gabe agrees he must have got them all from her along with her brains... Leo is a normal 7 going on 8 year old who loves to play around, ask constantly trivial questions and cause his mum and dad as much chaos as he can. Has the irritating habit of asking for pets and not quite knowing the limits of what can be kept as a pet...

Name – Derrick 'Granddad' Lockwell

Age – 67 in his mind, 81 by his birth certificate.

The elderly yet lively grandfather of the Lockwell's, a rather kind and yet moaning elder who delights in spending time with his grandchildren. A slightly short half crocked man who has no hair on the top of his head and a small grey goatee around his mouth, he walks with a walking cane not because he has to but because it lets him get the best seats on the buses and football matches. He is the father of Gabe and Kushina both been his children to different women, (he was a solider stationed in Konoha) he misses his daughter dearly but can't bring himself to visit her due to his pride. He often spoils his grand children (he sees both Sasuke and Itachi as his grandchildren too) with elaborate gifts and self made toys...

Name – Jonathan Lockwell

Age – 25

The eldest son of Gabe and Emma Jonathan is not seen in the stories but is mentioned, he is a carbon copy of his brother Leonard (although slightly taller and less childish). He is off with the army doing his national service, in civilian life he is a History teacher ( much to his father's dislike) . He often sends letter home to his mum to make sure she doesn't threat over him been away from home, he is also gay (also much to his fathers dislike) a move that makes his life harder due to society and the laws...Kushina is his Godmother, she was at his baptism and he can still remember he from his childhood...

What's Happens... 

This is a random story with chapters been their own self contained stories, some may follow on from each other but mostly they will be set on a separate event. I will update with new stories when I feel like it depending on how I feel about updates, writers block been my common foe... I hope you enjoy these small short tails that may make you laugh, cry or fall asleep with boredom because if there isn't sex or violence it isn't interesting.


	2. Dad's Coat And The The Scruffy Dog

Dad's Coat And The Scruffy Dog...

A sunny bright day in the city Whirlpool Village, the sun is shining and the sky is clear and bright,

Along one back street two small figure race towards home...

"Mum me dads not home from work is he?" Asked Leo as he rushed into the kitchen Naruto following after, both youngster looking out of breath.

"Yes I am lad and you obviously look glad to see me aren't ya" Gabriel said as he sat at the kitchen table holding a half crumpled newspaper in one hand and a mug of tea in the other. His eyes gave the two young boys a glance that was between a mix of amusement and irritation.

"Emmm Yeah dad..." Leo nodded his head and Naruto did the same, Gabriel glance didn't change as he set his paper down on the table.

"Aye pull the other one...What you've two been up too. What ya broke!" Gabriel barked as he set his mug down with a thud.

"I ant broke nothing dad." B said as he took a step back from his dad who start tapping his fingers on the wooden table, as the youngster stepped back he nearly tripped over Naruto.

"Then why the red face?" Naruto buried his head into Leo back to hide himself from Gabriel's now steadily intensifying glare.

"Emm I'm hot, we've been running." Leo tried to play innocent but failed to succeed.

"There's a window broke somewhere ain't there, I know you!" Gabriel's fingers had started tapping in a more frequent manner and the man's glare seemed to burn through B to make Naruto yelp in terror.

"Emm Honest dad I ain't broke a window." Leo said as Naruto enthusiastically nodded his head.

"I can feel it in my bones there's something up" Gabriel's said as he leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair.

"Emm I was playing with Naruto and we were just chasing a scruffy dog...Because it ran up our back entry...With your coat."

"You what! My coat, how did a dog get my ruddy coat then?"

"Which coat was it?" Emma spoke for the first time since the boys had raced in, she had been sat at the other end of the table with Itachi who had been reading her a newspaper article.

"Well it wouldn't have much choice would it, I've only got two! This one and my best and I'm wearing this one so work it out yourself!" Gabriel snapped at his wife as he shouted out of frustration at his wife lack of brains.

"Gabe the neighbours keep your voice down love" Emma said as she shook her head in disapproval of her husbands raise voice, she had already had to apologise to Mrs Gilmore three times now.

"Sod the neighbours what about my jacket?!" The man leapt to his feet in a sudden burst of agility. "They'll hear more than my voice when that dog gets a toe-cap enema, I'll make its eyes water! Which way did it go?" Gabriel growled as he glared at the two boys who he now loomed over menacingly.

"It went up the back street Uncle Gab." Naruto squeaked as the man leaned down slightly and he could see the veins in the man's forehead throbbing.

"Right stop here lads. I'll deal with you two when I get back!" Gabriel raged as he stormed off out the back door in a fit of rage muttering to himself in anger. As he slammed the door behind him Itachi sighed and went back to his reading, unconcerned with what was to come next...

"Oh you two, can't you keep out of trouble like Sasuke and Itachi. There's always something isn't there I'm fed up of umpire with you and your dad..."

"it wasn't my fault mum the scruffy just grabbed hold of it and then run off." Leo said as tears started top roll down his cheeks, the boy trying desperately to get sympathy from his mum. Naruto joined in big tears beginning to form his big blue eyes...

"What on earth were you doing playing with your fathers best coat anyway?" Emma said as she spoke softly to the two weeping boys, behind her Itachi sighed and muttered something about been a sucker.

"Well we couldn't find his old one could we." Naruto said as he wiped a hand across his nose and a glob of snot came away with it.

"Yes well, you better have a good excuse to tell your dad cus he's back already..." Emma said as outside the door heavy footstep could be heard along with the odd curse word been muttered loudly. As she stood up the door swung open and Gabriel bound in carrying a soggy looking jacket, Naruto and Leo raced over to hide behind her as Gabriel was distracted by his wife.

"Oh you got it then Gabe, where was it?" Emma asked trying to defuse the man's boiling temper as he held his coat in a clenched fist.

"Next to the lamppost up the street..." Gabriel said breathlessly. "By the time I got there every dog and it's mate had pee'd on it...Queuing up they were for a squirt." Gabriel said as he sat himself heavily back into his seat at the table leaving the soggy jacket in his wife's hands...

"Well at least you've got it back haven't ya, the don't look to be any damage..." E said as she held the jacket up, as she did so the smell hit her full force.. "Poo except for the stink, I'll hang it outside and give it an airing. Let's hope it don't shrink" Emma said in a joking manner but Gabriel didn't seem to be in a joking mood...

"I'll take it to the cleaners after." Emma said as she carried the stinking jacket out of the back door.

"Right you two!" Gabriel snapped at the two boys who now tried to hide behind Itachi, the older raven blanking them and the angry man before him. "Start at the beginning."

"Emm...You won't hit me if I tell you will you dad ?" Leo shifted uncomfortable under than man glare.

"Your in no position to make bargains...Now what happened?!" Gabriel turned his glare to Naruto the young blond jumping under his uncles malice look.

"Well remember when we asked you for a budgie and you wouldn't let us have one but you said that you'd show us how to catch a pigeon with some cotton and a little bits of bread..Well you didn't." Naruto spoke so fast even the quick minded Itachi nearly lost track of what he was saying.

"So it's my fault now is it?" Gabriel snapped as he thumped the table with the palm of his hand.

"Gabe love give them a chance, go on Naruto." Emma said as she walk back through the door having been listening from the back garden.

"Well me and Leo thought we'd catch a pigeon so we got some bits of bread and some cotton but we couldn't tie the bread crumbs on the end of it..." Gabriel looked rather amused at this statement and his throbbing veins seemed to disappear slightly...He gestured for Leo to come closer and as his son did son he leaned over him in an imposing manner.

"What's all this got to do with my best coat, get to the point!" Gabriel asked now in a more amused manner as Itachi stopped reading and turned to listen more closely his own curiosity taking a hold.

"Don't tower over him Gabe love, it isn't the Spanish intermission you know" Gabriel ignored his wife's rather redundant and incorrect statement and turned his attention back to his son.

"You were saying son..." Gabriel leaned back to give Leo a little room to breath.

"Well I thought of another way instead so we put the bits of bread on the road and when the bird come flying around we tried to throw our coats onto of them and we nearly did but the pigeon just sneaked out from underneath..." Leo managed to copy Naruto amazing ability to speak without taking a breath so well Gabriel actually smirked at his sons breathlessness afterwords.

"Cus Naruto's coat is only little and so's mine." Leo words made the smirk disappear.

"So you nicked my only decent one?!"

"Well we wanted to catch one so you wouldn't have to get us a budgie...We only lended it dad." Leo spoke out as he watched the look on his fathers face.

"So they were only thinking of you" Emma spoke as she took Gabriel's mug and proceeded to brew him a fresh cup of tea.

"Emmm yeah we were just so we didn't have to keep mitherin you that's all..." Naruto nodded in agreement as Leo managed to take several steps back out of reach of his father.

"We were going to put it back promise" Naruto said as Leo stood next to him both boys looking on in fear of what was to come next...Emma placed a fresh mug of tea down next to the man before walking over to the two cowering boys.

"Aye and another bus went passed." Gabriel said as he settled back into his chair and picked up his mug of tea, as he took a sip he picked up his paper and went back to reading.

"Right. Say sorry to your dad Leo, you too Naruto." E said as she patted both boys on the head for reassurance.

"Emm I'm sorry dad it was the scruffy dogs fault, it always causes trouble that dog.." Leo said as Naruto also spoke his apology.

"Last week it popped our balls..." Naruto said as he finished apologising and Gabriel chocked on his tea as this made him chuckle, Itachi smiled himself at the man's reaction to spluttering tea all over his own paper...

"And if I ever catch a hold of it, it'll get the same treatment..." Gabriel said as Emma pushed the boys out of the door to go play and left Itachi and Gabriel to their reading...

The End...


	3. What Was It Like In The Olden Days

What was it Like in the Olden Days?

A normal overcast day in the Whirlpool Village and in one small cramped two-up and two-down a family sit down for tea...

"Auntie Emma can we have some biscuit please." Sasuke asked in a polite voice as he sat on the kitchen floor playing with a toy car.

"You'll be having your tea in a bit love" Emma said as she tried to side step the three young boys who had turned the floor into a parking lot of half broken toy cars...

"Aww.." The three boys called out in disappointment...

"Dad?" Leo turn to his father who was sat in his armchair reading the evening edition of the newspaper, next to him in a chair of his own Itachi sat reading a book.

"Aye you got to mither someone haven't ya" Gabriel groaned as he pulled the paper closer to his face.

"Hehe Emmm... Can you remember what it was like when you was born" Leo asked in all the innocence of a child that had no idea how stupid his question sounded.

"No!" Gabriel barked as he pressed his nose to the paper "I was too young."

"Yeah but what was it like in the holden days... Did you have clothes like what you're wearing now?" Leo asked as he stood by his dad chair leaning on the man side, trying to peep behind the paper that hide his fathers face.

"Yes scruffy." Emma called from across the room as she set the table for tea...

"No son..." Gabriel pulled the paper away and folded it in half before tucking it down the side of the chair." I wore a fig leaf and a necklace made of dinosaur teeth and I had a spear and a bone through me nose, what do you mean olden days? Little squirt. How old you think I am lad?"

"Emm About a 'undred" Naruto offered, Gabriel gave the small boy a glance of disdain.

"Well thanks a bunch pal." The man called as he walked across the room and seated himself at his place at the table.

"You tell him Naruto love." Emma said as he started to lay out a feast on the table, Itachi set his book down and sat himself at the table whilst Emma busied herself pulling the bys away from their toys.

For a short while the room was quirt save for the noise of six hungry mouths greedily devouring their tea.

"And what about your Mum she even older than me." Gabriel said as he finished his plate full in record time leaving nothing but a half gnawed bone "She a listed building" He smirked as his wife shot him a glare.

"Hmm Take no notice I'm not, I admit I wouldn't see eighteen again..."Emma said as Itachi carried the plates to the sink for her and the three boys went back to their games of racing cars...

"Aye and if you did you wouldn't recognise it." Gabriel once again smirked at his wifes glare and leant back in his chair and stretched.

The three boys giggled at the remark and Emma turned red.

"Hmm Anyway Gabe Lockwell it's you that's put years on me, I was a lot younger than this before I met you." Emma snapped.

"Was ya?" Leo asked as he crawled under the table to retrieve a lost car that had rolled under there...

"Well you would have be wouldn't ya we've been married twenty-five years." Gabriel said as he kicked the small car out from under the table and watched it bounce across the carpet...

"Have you?" Itachi who had once again sat down in his chair by Gabriel's looked up from his book.

"Well there you are than." Emma said in triumph and smiled to herself.

"Its funny how most women never admit there age ain't it." Gabriel said more to himself than anyone else.

" And it's funny most men never act theirs." Emma replied as she began the washing up.

"I get that." Sasuke said from across the room as he helped Naruto build a small racetrack from unused cars...

"Aye very sharp Emma, its nice to hear that single brain cell fire up now and then..." Gabriel remarked as he pulled out his cigar case and began to search for his matches.

"Yes well think on then.." Emma called as her husband pointedly ignore her.

"I like it when were friends...Emmm How old are you really though Auntie Emma?" Naruto said as he crawled under the table and Gabriel felt the boy craw under his chair.

"Are your twenty-one or something." Sasuke asked as he wondered over to the women as she finished the washing up.

"Creep" Gabriel muttered under his breath...

"Well thank you very much love, yes I am." Emma said as she brushed the boy's hair with her fingertips.

"Aye and another bus went passed..." Gabriel grunted from his seat.

"Get yourself a couple of biscuits if you want one,you too boys..." Emma pointed to the biscuit tin which sat on the cupboard top.

"Thanks mum." Leo and Naruto raced over to join Sasuke at the tin as the three body took a few each...The three not forgetting to thank the women.

"Bribing them now Emma, they'll say ought to get what they want." Gabriel said as he turn to watch the three boys greedily nibble their prizes.

"I don't have to bribe him, I look young because I have nice skin."Emma brushed her hair to the side and ran a finger over her pale cheek.

"Oh yeah I reckon you must have been born in the dark ages because you look horrible in the light..." Gabriel said out of spite and turn away which made Emma throw a dish cloth at him...

"Listen who's taking your like that monster Gorgonzola." Emma called as she went over to the couch and sat down, crossing her arms defiantly.

"Godzilla Emma." Gabriel corrected her.

"See he admits it doesn't he Itachi." Emma asked and Itachi who had been quirt nodded in agreement.

"You did walk into that one Uncle Gabe." Itachi said as Gabriel glared at him for a moment before going back to the quest for his lighter and he rechecked his pockets again.

"And compared to yours my sweet little walnut i suppose my skins like hippo or rhinoceros or an old elephant from the zoo... " Gabriel said as he finally found the lighter in his waistcoat pocket.

"Yes it is." Emma said as she watched him light the long brown cigar and blow a puff of smoke out...

"Emm I don't think so...I think it's not as bad as that." Leo said as she stood next to his dad like a small rabbit before a hungry wolf.

"Well get another biscuit son.."Gabriel said in a jovial manner as he watched Leo take another biscuit

"Hey thanks dad." Leo called as he nibbled his third biscuit. "That's three biscuits fro telling fibs."

"Uncle Gabe will you take us to the zoo?" Sasuke ask as he now stood by the man at the table, Naruto also arrived moments later.

"Yeah I've never even been..." Leo said between munching sounds as he chewed his latest prize.

"You have and you were even squirter then." Gabriel said as he blew smoke ring out to amuse himself and the three boys.

"I don't remember going." Leo protested as he watched the smoke ring dissipate into the air.

"Well you did, you drove us mad all day with your skriking." Gabriel said as this time he blew three smoke ring in a row each one large than the last.

"Did I? Did the all animal make me cry dad?" Leo asked a he watched the smoke rings once again disappear into the air.

"It weren't the animals' son, you used to skrike for ought" Gabriel pointed a finger at his son cigar still in hand.

"You were teething at the time Leo love, you dad probably cried when he was teething and all" Emma said from across the room as she sat looking at the carpet with a look of horror at the mees that the three boys had left.

"Nah When my teeth hurt I take them out..." Gabriel said as he pulled his set of false teeth out and held them in his hand so he could use them like a real mouth.

"Oww uncle you look horrible." Naruto said as he drew back away from the man and his fake teeth.

"He doses don't he."Emma said as he shook her head in disapproval at the man's behaviour.

"Give us a suck of your biscuit son." Gabriel said jokingly and snatched the half eaten biscuit from Leo's hand with the false teeth.

"Oww dad, stop messing...Emmm will you take us to the zoo" Leo said as he retrieved his biscuit from the fake teeth's grip.

"I'll be dead good I won't cry or anything." Leo said hopefully as he eyed his father with big pouting eyes.

"Nether will i" Sasuke added to the attempt to sway the man.

"Or me" So did Naruto.

"And I could see all the monkeys and lions and things and that animal that laughs..." Leo went on as his mind began to go wild.

"Called an Irena love..." Emma called from her seat.

"A Hyena" Itachi corrected her in a placid manner.

"Yeah and those with lumps which hardly ever drink." Sasuke let his own mind wonder to what he wanted to see at the zoo.

"Caramels" Emma again called from her seat.

"Camels." Gabriel corrected her this time, his voice holding a hint of annoyance at his wife's lack of knowledge.

"Yeah but we won't go near the Rhinosarus it can kill you" Naruto said timidly as he joined in the conversation that the three boys had started.

"It could stab us with its spike right through the cage but we could just not go to near it." Leo said reassuringly to the other boy.

"Aww Dad please can we go? Today?" Leo turned up his pitiful look even more as he gazed up at his dad.

"I've no money lad, your mam takes all my wage" Gabriel said as he blew a stream of smoke at Leo and made the boys eyes water.

"I do not, I never see the packet." Emma exclaimed from across the room as she stood up and pointed at the Gabriel with an accusing finger.

"And you wont do neither" Gabriel ignored her ravings about him been tight-fisted.

"Well you can't be short Gabe Lockwell, all the overtime you do" Emma said as she started to pick up the boys toys and put them away in the toy box in the corner of the room, Naruto and Leo started to help her.

"It'll be a treat for them, you know they love animals" Emma said as she stood up having finished the tidying up, Gabriel had just finished his cigar and he too stood up and stretched his arms.

"Yes we do." Sasuke called from his hiding place under the table, having been hiding there when he saw the mess he'd made needed tidying.

"Please can we go?" Naruto said as he stood rubbing sleep from his eyes as his head seemed to keep falling forwards of its own accord.

"Go on Gabe" Emma said as she gave the man a hug and whispered something into his ear.

"Oh Go on then." Gabriel agreed begrudgingly.

The three boys started to cheer in celebration as Gabriel glared down at them.

"I'll take you tomorrow on my only day off!" The man said as he walked over to his armchair and sat down, pulling the folded paper from its place down the side.

"Aww Today" Leo said as he followed his father across the room.

"Don't talk soft, it's seven o'clock...We'll go tomorrow like I said." Gabriel said as he unfolded the paper and found his spot, he frowned when he found the article been about how zoo entry prices had just gone up...

"Yes love it's passed your bed time now.." Emma called as she caught Naruto who had nearly fallen over from tiredness.

"Are you sure they'll still be open in the morning though?" Leo worriedly called as he followed after his mum who was already climbing the stairs to the boys bedroom.

"Nought will happen to it while your asleep, it will be there till kingdom come... Go on cart off" Gabriel called after as he continued to read his paper.

"Right. Can I take some bread to give em?" Leo asked as he reached the room doorway and looked back at his dad.

"Yes, go on" Gabriel growled as he read the same line a third time...

"And can it take my toy gun encase of the Rhinsoaur..." Leo called as he reached the foot of the stairs.

"I said bed!" Gabriel growled as he read the line again.

"Right." Leo called as he started up the stairs.

"Come on love" Emma leading the boys up to bed...

"And can I take my sling shot an all?" Leo called from the top of the steps...

"Oh what have I done..." Gabriel asked himself as from upstairs the constant chatter of the three boys could be heard...

"Were going to the zoo, were going to the zoo,were going to the zoo..." Leo sang as Gabriel read the same line for a sixth time, after a few moment he gave up and decide to have another cigar...


	4. The Zoo

The Zoo

Early Morning in a small two-up and two-down in the sleepy Whirlpool Village.

"Rise and shine the mornings fine, the snow will burn your hair off..." Gabriel called as he bound into the boys room intent on dragging them out of bed. "Come on snots, down the stairs..." As he looked around saw the empty beds.

"Hiya dad." Leo called from behind the man and Gabriel jumped in fright.

"Don't creep up me like that!...Where did you come from?" Gabriel said as he turned to glared at the three young boys stood behind him.

"Emmm We've been up for ages, I don't know what time it was though." Leo said as behind him Sasuke and Naruto giggled.

"It was still dark." Naruto said as Gabriel ignored them and looked over at the mess the beds had been left in by the boys, Itachi's bottom bunk had been left in an perfect state unlike the others.

"Gabe just give our Leo's shoes a brush please." Emma called from downstairs as Gabriel thought about making the beds.

"What did your last slave die of?" Gabriel called back as he decided to leave the bed making to Emma.

"Black his beast ones and his old ones will ya and while your there Gabe, cut some soles out for the old pair they let water in..." Emma said not hearing what Gabriel was calling her from upstairs. "There's an empty soap box under the sink."

"You're a cheeky sod Emma." Gabriel called from the top of the stairs "If you hadn't spent so long cramming yourself into that frock and complaining about it shrinking you could have had these shoes done. And Mine an all. "

"I don't know what I pay you for..." Gabriel's added as he started to walk down the steps his heavy footsteps making the step creak in agony. Itachi had only just climbed the stairs and picked up the semi asleep Naruto before making his way back down stairs.

As the children followed Gabriel down the stairs they were chattering in excitement.

"Oh hallo boys." Emma to the three boys as Gabriel wondered around the kitchen muttering to himself as he looked under the sink for the box...

"Hallo mam." Leo said as he gave her leg a hug.

"Morning auntie Emma." Itachi said as he set the still sleepy Naruto down on the floor as the young boy rubbed sleep from his eyes.

"Are we going to the zoo yet?" Sasuke asked as Gabriel just finished cutting a shoe shaped cut of cardboard.

"About time and all, Emma why dose wittering wilily here need these old shoes?" Gabriel asked as he slid the cut out into the shoes."He's just got new ones." He ignored his wife's muttering about shoddy polishing.

"Were ready, aren't we?" Leo asked the two other boys.

"Because Gabe I can't afford to buy no more this side of Christmas, so if he wares his new one for going and his old ones for playing. His new ones will still be as good as new when their old and the old ones will last him out until the new ones are old." Emma said as Gabriel exchange a sly glance with Itachi who stood shaking his head.

"And by then I can afford to buy him new ones and then we can do the same with the old new ones." Emma continued to speak as Gabriel looked at her puzzled.

"What?" Gabriel exclaimed as he tried to mentally replay the conversation.

"Pardon?" Itachi exclaimed as he mentally tried to figure the women's thinking out inside his mind.

"Eh" Came from the three young boys who also struggled to understand what the women had been saying.

"I don't get it." Naruto said as he stood looking around worriedly.

"You don't?" Gabriel said as he wondered if any rational person could understand his wife's way of thinking.

"So that's why you need to put cardboard in his old ones. It's just common sense." Emma "You don't think this frocks too tight do you Gabe?"

Gabriel groaned in annoyance...

"Leo where do you think your going?" Emma asked as she watched the boy run off.

"Just a minuet I'm just trying to find my gun encase there's any tigers roaming around at the zoo..."Leo raced off upstairs as Gabriel walked over to his chair and sat down.

"What are you sitting down for?We've a bus to catch yet." Emma as she poker her husband in the shoulder with a finger.

"I'm waiting for the men in white coats." Gabriel said as he rubbed his forehead with both hands.

"All right I've got me gun..I'm ready" Leo called as he came racing down the stairs and into the room.

Gabriel groaned as he stood up and stretched his arms out with a sickening creaking sound.

"Can we go yet? Were all ready..." Sasuke as Gabriel walked over to put his coat on...

Awhile later...

"Half an hour and not one pigging bus in sight yet!" Gabriel moaned as she stood in the street staring down the street in hopes of seeing the wanted bus... "Always the ruddy same with the forty-fives." Gabriel scoffed as he stamped his foot in impatience.

"Patience is a virgin Gabe"Emma said and Gabriel smirked at her mess up beside him Itachi grinned as well as he was about to correct her Leo called...

"Dad it's here, look..." The young boy pointing to the approaching bus as it crawled down the road at a slow pace.

"Its coming now and there's two more behind...No three." Sasuke pointed out the four bus moving down the street, Gabriel glared at the approaching column with a look of annoyance.

"Stick your hand out uncle Gab...Make sure the driver see us." Naruto called as he tugged on Gabe's coat sleeve.

Gabriel said as he put his hand out and the bus turned to stop at the road side.

"I'm going up stairs, I'm dying for a smoke." Gabriel said as he climbed aboard the bus.

"Well I'm not going upstairs..." Emma stated as Itachi stayed with her as Gabriel land the three youngsters made to follow him up to the open top deck.

"Can we come?" Leo asked as he reached the foot of the stairs.

"No! You can stop down stairs pests." Gabriel hissed "With your mam."

"Yes dears come with me and Itachi." Emma said the pair headed towards the back of the bus.

"Aww But dad I want to go upstairs at the front, so I can pretend to be the bus driver. Cus that's what I want to be when I grow up, as well a a zoo keeper." Leo

Gabriel sighed and walked over to one of the front seats as Leo and Sasuke raced up the stairs, Naruto stood at the bottom step looking up at the stair before Itachi called him over to sit with him and Emma.

"See you in a bit mum" Leo called as he reached the top step.

"please yourself." Emma called as the conductor walked over and she called "Get our fair Gabe." With this the conductor walked away heading for the stairs...

Ten minuets later...

"Are we there yet?" Sasuke asked as Gabriel sat with his arms crossed and his cigar handing from his mouth.

"Two more stops lad. See over there you can see the zoo from here." Gabriel pointed in the distance.

"Right...Quick dad stand up." Leo called as he poked his father in the side.

"We've got all day yet." Gabriel grunted as Leo jabbed him in the ribs again.

"Dad you got to get up, you've got too." Leo cried pleadingly.

"What do you mean I've got too?" Gabriel said with no intention of standing up.

"Mmmm Dad, I want a wee!" Leo called as again tried to get his father to rise from his seat.

"You should have thought of that before we left the house shouldn't ya" Gabriel said as she remained seated and puffed on his cigar.

Leo gave a weak whining noise and sat on the other side of Gabriel Sasuke cheekily giggled to himself.

"Now you'll have to wait till we get inside." Gabriel said as the wind caught is cigar end and half the burnt ash was blown away.

"I did go! I went before we came out. I did honest, me mam made me." Leo said as je fidgeted in his seat.

"But nothing come out..." Leo said as he continued to squirm in his seat.

"You need rubber band on it squirt." Gabriel said as the wind again caught his cigar and sent more ash flying away.

"Aww Dad please!" Leo cried even more weakly as Gabriel finally got to his feet.

"Come on then, better get down on the platform encase your valve blows." Gabriel said as he dragged the boy down the stairs to the lower deck.

An two hours later...

Inside the zoo in the picnic area sat a one of the many wooden tables Gabriel and his wife sat watching Itachi and Naruto play with a ball. In the distance Emma watched as Sasuke and Leo raced around the animal enclosures, the sun was shining and for once the sky didn't have a dark cloud in sight.

"Oh its lovely sitting here in the sunshine isn't it Gabe." Emma directed the question to the mumbling man sat next to her. "Out in the fresh air"

"The Gas Works would smell good after that elephant house." Gabriel said as he looked down at one of his shoes and saw what he hoped wasn't elephant dung.

"You know all that walking given me an apatite, are you hungry Gabe?" Emma

"Well seeing as all I had for breakfast was an argument I could eat a bear between two bread vans." Gabriel said as he used a small stick to nudge the offending muck from his shoe.

"You have brought some butties haven't ya?" Gabriel said as he threw the stick way as a copious amount of the dung had attached itself to it.

"Yes I've done some of each nut their all mixed up so its take your pick cus I don't know what will be in am." Emma said as she began to look around for something...

"I do my teeth." Gabriel said as he gave Itachi a glance and then looked over to wife, he remained looking at her as she began to get more flustered and emptying her bags out.

"Where are they then?! " Gabriel asked as the women emptied the last of her bags onto the grass...

"I'll shout our Leo and Sasuke." Emma said as Gabriel glared down at the now empty bags set beside him.

"The butties Emma?!" Gabriel called as he and Itachi looked down at the piles of things the women had brought, even Gabriel was confused by the large and rather by the small iron...

"Leo come on, Sasuke it's dinner time." Emma called ignoring her husbands constant muttering.

As the two boys appeared racing over from the direction of the monkey cage Emma returned to her search for the sandwiches, under the watchful glare of her increasingly irritated husband.

"Its fun here isn't it...Can I have a hot-dog?" Leo asked as he longingly looked over to a hot-dog stand.

"No I've brought some sandwiches. If I can find them." Emma said as she continued to look through the contents of her bags.

"Sandwiches?" Sasuke asked looking slightly worried.

"Yes" Emma said as she repacked one of her bags, Gabriel now glaring at the two boys with a knowing glare.

"Them in that paper bag? Emm Was they for us?" Leo asked as he tried to sidestep is fathers glare.

"Yes, where are they?" Emma said her own eyes looking at the pair of boys with an accusing look.

As the two boys hesitated Gabe's fingers began to tap on his knee and the vein in his forehead began to pulsate.

"Speak lad? While you still can." Gabriel growled as his finger tapping became more frantic.

"We haven't eat them." Sasuke blurted as he pointed back towards the baboon enclosure. " It was that monkey with the funny coloured bum."

"Oh Sasuke..."Emma moaned in disappointment.

"You what? You give my bloody lunch to a baboon!" Gabriel snapped as his fingers stopped tapping.

As the two boys took a step backwards Gabriel sat muttering curses to himself under his breath.

"Gabe don't swear, people might be listening" Emma said as she put a hand on the man hand that was resting on his knee.

"We thought they were for the animal, we was just giving the monkey with the funny bum one when it just snatched the bag of me" Leo said as he tried not to catch the rather annoyed look even Itachi was giving him.

"How did you get that close to it?" Snapped Gabriel's he thought of the small wall that ringed the fence of the animal cages, the wall was as tall as the two boys.

"Emm we just climbed up on the wall." Leo said as Gabriel's glare intensified.

"In your best shoes after all I said!" Emma raised voice caught everyone's attention and even Gabriel jumped a little as the women's voice pierced the air like a knife through butter.

Gabriel started to bang his head on the wooden table he was sat at as his wife continued to rage at the boys, when the thudding sound did catch her ears she turned and snapped.

"Gabe stop banging your head on the table you'll show me up!" Emma shouted as a passing couple caught sight of the scene.

"yeah stop it uncle Gab" Naruto called as he put his small hand under the man's head in an attempt to stop him, all he got was crushed fingers as Gabriel not realising thumped his head down again.

Moments later the man shot to his feet and dragging the teary eyed Naruto with him walked away towards the hot-dog stand, as he turned back he called for Itachi to come with him.

As Itachi followed after the retreating man Emma was down on the ground looking at the pairs shoes and growling in a terrifying way as Sasuke and Leo watched the hot-dog stand.

As the pair watched the three others eating fresh hot-dog their stomachs growled, off in the distance one of the baboon was curled up with stomach cramps.


End file.
